Beyond Us and Them: Finding Our Common Ground

In 1971, Ram Dass wrote in BE HERE NOW that "police make hippies and hippies make police." He hit the nail on the head. Believing there's an 'other' and seeing them as separate from us polarizes our society, creating artificial boundaries that destroy our cohesion as one human family.

It's not that we shouldn't hold views or stand up for them, but putting people into categories and closing our hearts to them is hurting us- even when we're sure we're right.

We're not born into bubbles, we blow them for ourselves as we grow and then climb inside. These bubbles harden our hearts to those we see as outside them. But as Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. said, "Only love can overcome hate."

What if we read MLK's words as more than rhetoric? What would the implications be if we took them as truth, a cornerstone in our way of being?

Do "us" and "them" really exist? Personally, I don't think so, only in our minds. Like all labels, they're merely layers we superimpose on reality. These categories aren't just fabricated; they're a big part of what's hurting our world, causing us to spend time finger-pointing instead of addressing what desperately needs our attention.

In physics, Newton's Third Law states that every force creates equal resistance. When we use force against those we disagree with, they push back with equal or greater force. This applies to thoughts, words, and deeds.

When I find myself "us-ing and them-ing" from inside my bubble, I go deeper and ask, "What am I feeling here?" As Ram Dass said, "the quieter you get, the more you can hear."

Often when I quiet down, I hear hurt underneath the anger. A small child inside feels frustrated, thinking "You're forcing your will on me." From that space comes anger and blame, causing me to close down and react where I could remain open and respond.

You may have a similar story.

When people carrying similar sentiments gather in groups, "us and them" are born. Could it be that out of our unconscious feelings, we're creating a world we find unlivable?

Could our righteousness be blinding us? When we're convinced of our position, we forget others' reality and insist they're wrong. We forget to question, to inquire into their lives and the source of their views. We forget that othering them makes the whole world sadder, madder, and more messed up.

When will we learn to drop our othering? This question may be more important than any issue we've squabbled over for centuries. If we can't find common ground to address urgent issues facing all of us, our time to solve them may be limited.

Are we ready to create a world without categories? It can only begin with us. The choice is in our hands and hearts.

What will you do?

Share your thoughts in the comments below. You can learn to quiet down and hear more of your own truth through one-on-one meditation sessions—learn more [here].

In Love,
Noah